Cloud Studies for a Future Body emerges from my experience of unexplained infertility and the emotional terrain of waiting, surrender, and becoming. Using film photography as a means of processing what could not be resolved through language, I worked with recurring motifs—doors and windows, frames, reflections, shadows, clouds, and water—to explore thresholds, absence, and possibility.

All images were created through unplanned double exposures and developed by hand in my darkroom using caffenol. This alchemical process required patience and trust, mirroring the uncertainty of the fertility journey itself. Allowing the images to reveal themselves without control became an act of surrender.

The resulting photographs hold both grief and beauty, reflecting moments where heaviness dissolves into light. Through this work, darkness is not erased but transformed, offering a quiet meditation on endurance, presence, and hope.